Sunday, September 5, 2010

To blog or not to blog, that is the question!

Welcome family, friends, neighbours, coworkers and the random stranger(s) out there to my blog!!!!!! - "The Contorted Lenz" - Beta version 1.0. When I first thought about writing a blog (about a day ago) I questioned myself  "do I really have that much to say about the world and  life that people would be interested enough to actually read" ......I pondered for a few minutes while sipping my venti vanilla soy americano misto....hmming and hawing out loud, much to the dismay of the random stranger(s) (yes shout out to the ones reading this) in Starbucks and then it hit me like a ton of bricks...or a tonn of caffeine; which could be entirely possible since I did accept the barristas offer of that fourth shot in my americano. IT DON'T MATTER. It don't matter! My blog ain't here to impress nor is it here to entertain. It is in existance so I can say what I want, when I want, to whoever is willing to read it.

Now a couple quick disclaimers and general notes before we get to the meat and potatoes (of course)

1. My posts may not always be very well written and half the time they may not even make that much sense!! Just to throw it out there - I pretty much almost failed grade 12 english, I definitly failed the poetry module and the english I was taking wasn't even the smart english, it was the english for the people still figuring out the difference between nouns and verbs. Yup.

2. I have never won or even entered a spelling bee. This blog does not have spell check, so I don't want any haters being critical of my poor spelling. I was raised (as many of you were) in the word processor generation. I am definitly not responsible for the details of spelling all the words in the english language. That is why computers were invented, who wants to waste their time with pesky details such as spelling. Now to be fair I don't  really know what the capabilities of the site are, but unless there is spell check on this baby don't expect the bigger words and even the smaller words to be spelled correctly.

 3. English is quite challenging with all the different versions of words that mean the same thing - homophones I think they are called. (I was paying attention!!!!!!!!) Such as pair, pear and pare. Waist and waste.  Too, too and two. Don't expect me to contextulize those words correctly. I ain't no Robert Munsch.

4. While I do believe there is a time and a place to ensure you are politically correct, it is not the top priority of this blog. When you are in a professional environment or at an intellectual event of some kind it is wise to try to be sensitive towards others and maintain your reputation by watching your tongue. If you currently are or have future ambitions to become a politician you should probably refrain from using phrases or words that have negative conotations for certain groups on your blog. Watch yo'self! That shiat could come back and bite you in the ass like Paris Hilton's sex tape. I however do not ever desire to be a politican and will use the words in my vocabulary as I see fit.

5. The facts and topics discussed by yours truly in this blog may not always be accurate. I try my best but everything I write on this screen is all based on my interpretation of what I've read. I don't have a great attention span so sometimes I develop my own opinions before I've fully read material. Don't argue with me or correct my facts! This isn't your blog, it's mine. Get your own!! Or how about writing someone who cares such as the good folks at Wikipedia. That's where I get the majority of the fuel for this fire anyways.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way. I know you are all dying to know why this blog is called "The Contorted Lenz Beta Version 1.0" and not just "The Contorted Lenz" - allow me to enlighten you! While I have interest in blogging and expressing my creativitly through written material I do not know if it's really a long term interest. I tend to get really excited about new ventures and expell all my energy quickly having none left for regular maintenance. So enjoy this while it lasts! So with that I look forward to either posting or not posting more random/eclectic thoughts, feelings and expressions of self.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out now!

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